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Bill O’Reilly Tearfully Packs Up Framed Up-Skirt Photos From Desk

NEW YORK—Smiling wistfully as he gazed at the cherished mementos that had sat on his desk for much of the past 20 years, former Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly reportedly grew teary-eyed Thursday as he packed up the framed up-skirt photos from his work space following his termination by the cable channel.

Donald Trump Jr. Takes Son On Hunting Trip In National Zoo

WASHINGTON—In what he referred to as an important rite of passage for his 8-year-old son, Donald John III, Donald Trump Jr. took his eldest boy to the Smithsonian National Zoological Park for his first-ever hunting trip, sources said Wednesday.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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Mensa Membership Getting Younger

Since 2000, the number of Mensa members under 30 has increased 63 percent. What do you think?

  • "Really? I would have figured way more old people would be falling for that scam."

    Alicia Martsch Systems Analyst
  • "I don't know. I just wanted to belong to something, and they had a hell of a lot fewer hoops to jump through than the Latin Kings."

    Keith Plouf Laboratory Miller
  • "But if the number of young members has increased, doesn't that mean that there are even more ages now? And therefore people are even older? I'm not in Mensa."

    Michael Roth Carpet Installer

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Donald Trump Jr. Takes Son On Hunting Trip In National Zoo

WASHINGTON—In what he referred to as an important rite of passage for his 8-year-old son, Donald John III, Donald Trump Jr. took his eldest boy to the Smithsonian National Zoological Park for his first-ever hunting trip, sources said Wednesday.

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