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Politics

Robert Mueller Driving SUV 100 MPH Down Runway As Air Force One Narrowly Lifts Off

PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY, MD—Sending a pair of guards scrambling for safety as he gunned his black SUV through a chain-link gate and onto the tarmac, Robert Mueller, the former FBI director who was recently tapped to lead the ongoing investigation into the Trump campaign’s ties to Russia, chased Air Force One down the runway at Joint Base Andrews moments before takeoff, sources reported Tuesday.

Trump Asks Entire Senate To Clear Out Of Chamber So He Can Speak To Comey Alone

WASHINGTON—Entering through a side door and bidding the assembled legislators, congressional aides, and members of the media to give him a moment with the former FBI director, President Donald Trump reportedly asked the entire Senate to clear the chamber during James Comey’s testimony Thursday so he could speak to him alone.

A Timeline Of The Watergate Scandal

With the White House mired in controversy, comparisons to Washington’s most famous scandal have been common, if not always accurate. Forty-five years after the events leading to Nixon’s resignation, The Onion presents a detailed timeline of the Watergate scandal.
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Mensa Membership Getting Younger

Since 2000, the number of Mensa members under 30 has increased 63 percent. What do you think?

  • "Really? I would have figured way more old people would be falling for that scam."

    Alicia Martsch Systems Analyst
  • "I don't know. I just wanted to belong to something, and they had a hell of a lot fewer hoops to jump through than the Latin Kings."

    Keith Plouf Laboratory Miller
  • "But if the number of young members has increased, doesn't that mean that there are even more ages now? And therefore people are even older? I'm not in Mensa."

    Michael Roth Carpet Installer

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