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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Meth Puts Strain On ERs

A recent survey of hospitals indicated that methamphetamine is responsible for more drug-related emergency-room admissions than any other illicit drug. What do you think?
  • "It wasn't the meth that put me in the ER, man. It was trying to wrestle that horse."

    Kevin Underwood Tax Preparer
  • "Meth's a bigger problem than weed, coke, and heroin? No wonder popular music sucks now."

    Cindy Reynolds Writer
  • "We should just train all the pharmaceutical reps mulling around the hospital lobby in basic lifesaving measures."

    Gene Thomas Bank Teller
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