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Fermilab Receives Generous Anonymous Particle Donation

BATAVIA, IL—Calling it the most substantial private donation the research facility has received in years, officials at the Fermi National Accelerator Laboratory announced Monday that an anonymous benefactor had given them a generous particle donation.

God Excited About First Trip To Japan

THE HEAVENS—After years of talking about visiting the East Asian country, God, Our Lord and Heavenly Father, told reporters Monday that He was excited to finally be taking His first trip to Japan.

Most Anticipated Panels At Comic-Con

San Diego Comic-Con kicks off tomorrow, and this year’s schedule is packed with must-see events. Here are the most highly-anticipated panels of Comic-Con 2017.
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Mexican Immigrants Call For A Day of Action

May 1st will be the next "Day of Action" in which Latino activists will take to the streets to protest restrictive policies against Mexican immigrants. What do you think?
  • "I see what they are trying to do. A day off on May 1st, then the Cinco de Mayo—before you know it, we're looking at a 5 day weekend."

    Brooke Gladwell Bricklayer
  • "At least their employers won’t have to pay them benefits for that day."

    James Munson Systems Analyst
  • "Pienso que el tema de la inmigración es absolutamente compleja. ¿Mi nombre? Juan-no. John. John Smith. Disculpeme. Debo irme."

    John Smith Laser Printer Repairman

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