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Mexico Surpasses U.S. As Fattest Nation

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Entire Broncos Organization Announces Retirement After Super Bowl Win

‘There’s Nothing Better Than Going Out On Top,’ Says Every Denver Player, Coach, Executive, Trainer, Office Administrator, Janitor

SANTA CLARA, CA—Following the team’s 24-10 victory over the Carolina Panthers in Super Bowl 50, every single member of the Denver Broncos organization officially announced their retirement Sunday.

Family, Friends Concerned After Peyton Manning Wanders Away From Pocket

SANTA CLARA, CA—Admitting to being “worried sick” after realizing he had suddenly disappeared in the middle of a play, family and friends of Peyton Manning grew incredibly concerned Sunday after the veteran Denver Broncos quarterback wandered away from the pocket during the first quarter of Super Bowl 50, sources confirmed.
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Mexico Surpasses U.S. As Fattest Nation

A new report by the United Nations has found that Mexico has overtaken the United States as the most obese nation in the Western Hemisphere, an incline experts have attributed to the proliferation of fast food chains, increasingly sedentary lifestyles, and rising income inequality. What do you think?

  • “But we’re still number one in education, right?”

    Keith Mitchell
    Seam Hammerer
  • “It’s nice to know we dropped in rankings without having to change our lifestyles or dietary habits.”

    Claudia Griffiths
    Health Care Specialist
  • “Those Mexicans work harder at everything.”

    Sam Anderson
    Wardrobe Supervisor

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