MIA Remains In North Korea

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Terrifying Uniformed Bachelorette Party Storms Local Bar

TACOMA, WA—Bursting into the establishment seemingly out of nowhere and overtaking it within a matter of moments, a terrifying uniformed bachelorette party stormed local pub Casey’s Saloon Friday night, onlookers reported.

MIA Remains In North Korea

U.S. and North Korean officials are meeting in Kuala Lumpur this week to discuss efforts to recover the remains of 8,000 American soldiers missing in action in the Korean War. What do you think?
  • "I don't know about you, but I certainly don't want those remains back. Have you seen that shit? It's nasty."

    Benjamin Ryback
    Landscaper
  • "Did someone check the bathroom for those missing soldiers? Because my grandpa is a Korean War vet, and that's where we always find him."

    Jennifer Teague
    Law Student
  • "Finally, I'll be able to be at peace when the bone shards and crushed skull of my loved one, gunned down in the prime of his life, are returned to me."

    Carol Clark
    Retiree
  • "How can we worry about Korea when there are still bodies missing from the Punic Wars?"

    Davis Franklin
    Banker
  • "Know who else is apparently missing in action? My waitress. I ordered those goddamn wings almost 15 minutes ago."

    Robert Dorner
    Systems Analyst
  • "We must get the MIAs back alive. Failing that, we must get back their remains. Failing that, we must get back their droppings."

    Don Oberkfell
    Electrician
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