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Tips For Back-To-School Shopping

As kids prepare to go back to school, parents are tasked with providing all the supplies and clothes they’ll need for the year. Here are The Onion’s tips for tackling back-to-school shopping.

Report: Sky Normal Today

WASHINGTON—Informing citizens there really wasn’t anything special going on up there, the nation’s scientists confirmed the sky is normal today.
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Mice Give Birth Using 3D-Printed Ovaries

In a step toward treatments for human infertility, scientists implanted 3D-printed ovaries into mice, which were then able to give birth using the artificial organs. What do you think?

  • “And I suppose the rest of us will foot the bill for these mice to lie around having baby after baby?”

    Thomas Dunn Digital Farmer
  • “Someday, hopefully every woman, regardless of fertility, can be forced to have a baby.”

    Gwen Breiner Steamboat Operator
  • “Wait until I tell my mice!”

    Harold Mendillo Jello Molder

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