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Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.

Fermilab Receives Generous Anonymous Particle Donation

BATAVIA, IL—Calling it the most substantial private donation the research facility has received in years, officials at the Fermi National Accelerator Laboratory announced Monday that an anonymous benefactor had given them a generous particle donation.

God Excited About First Trip To Japan

THE HEAVENS—After years of talking about visiting the East Asian country, God, Our Lord and Heavenly Father, told reporters Monday that He was excited to finally be taking His first trip to Japan.
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Michael J. Fox Returning To TV

Former Family Ties and Spin City star Michael J. Fox, who left television 12 years ago to focus on combating Parkinson’s disease, will appear next fall in a loosely autobiographical sitcom in which he plays a New York father struggling with the same neurodegenerative disorder. What do you think?

  • “He’s dealt with his condition so well, I have a problem seeing him as a convincing Parkinson’s patient. Frankly, I’m not sure he can pull it off.”

    Everett Rosner Medical Radiation Dosimetrist
  • “Ugh. I don’t have a neurodegenerative disorder! When’s someone finally gonna tell my story?”

    Teresa Hester Mail Carrier
  • “I don’t know. After 12 years out of the game, do you think he’s ready to handle the intricate plotting and multifaceted characterizations of today’s sitcom landscape?”

    Giovanni Di Meo Barrel Repairer

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