Michael Jackson Album To Feature New Songs

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Vol 50 Issue 13

Cereal Box Characters Lure Children In With Their Eyes

According to new research, the cartoon “spokescharacters” on cereal boxes are purposefully drawn with their stares angled downward to make eye contact with young children, which researchers say raises the trust level between kids and the carto...

Coco Crisp Shyly Asks Bob Melvin If A’s Are Poor

OAKLAND, CA—Upon realizing that opponents always seem to have better facilities, equipment, and players, team sources confirmed Friday that Oakland A’s outfielder Coco Crisp approached manager Bob Melvin and quietly asked whether their team wa...

Date Invites Woman Upstairs To Check Out Red Flags

COLUMBUS, OH—Following an evening spent out at a local brewpub, area man Patrick Fitzgerald took the initiative Wednesday night to invite local woman Alicia Powell up to his apartment to see his glaring red flags, sources confirmed.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Michael Jackson Album To Feature New Songs

Epic Records has announced their plan to release a new album from late singer Michael Jackson called Xscape, which will feature eight previously unreleased songs. What do you think?

  • “I’ll buy it as long as every song is as good as ‘Billie Jean.’”

    Ken Rosterman
    Furniture Discounter
  • “If you like music you should check out my band, Thrashing Souls.”

    Bryant Miller
    Unemployed
  • “Okay. Just as long as this isn’t some cash grab.”

    Mackenzie Herzer
    Classroom Supervisor
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