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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
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Michelle Obama Presents Oscar To 'Argo'

First lady Michelle Obama announced the Oscars’ Best Picture winner via satellite last night, awarding the show’s top prize to the Ben Affleck–directed thriller Argo, which chronicles the rescue of six Americans during the Iranian hostage crisis. What do you think?

  • “As a conservative, that completely ruined the Hollywood I already hated.”

    Martin Ingersoll Seat Assembler
  • “But her husband didn’t even kill any bad guys in that one.”

    Gerald Wilmarth Puppeteer
  • “Oh, wow. Do you think the president was standing right there off-camera, or do you think he was in another room watching on TV?”

    Mary Tanaka Systems Analyst
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