Michelle Obama Turns 50

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Vol 50 Issue 02

President Curbing NSA Spying

In an effort to address citizens’ privacy and civil liberty concerns, President Obama announced today that intelligence agencies would now be required to obtain a court’s permission to access metadata from telephones.

Scientist: Cats View Owners As Large Cats

In his new book Cat Sense, British biologist and animal behavior expert John Bradshaw argues that domestic cats view their owners as large, non-hostile cats, such as a mother cat or an older, larger relative.

The Onion’s Oscar Picks

Following this morning’s announcement of the 86th Academy Awards nominations, many pundits are calling this year’s Oscar race one of the most wide open in recent memory.
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Business

Michelle Obama Turns 50

First Lady Michelle Obama turns 50 years old today and will celebrate with a birthday party at the White House tomorrow night, which has been described on official invitations as an evening of “Snacks & Sips & Dancing & Dessert.” What do you think?

  • “There will be snacks? How glamorous!”

    Lonnie May
    Jackhammer Operator
  • “I guess whatever little miss First Lady wants, little miss First Lady gets.”

    Keith Ballard
    Tap Dancing Instructor
  • “Wow, she made it to 50? Must be her active lifestyle. Incredible.”

    Whitney Kirby
    Donut Icer
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