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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
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Michelle Obama Turns 50

First Lady Michelle Obama turns 50 years old today and will celebrate with a birthday party at the White House tomorrow night, which has been described on official invitations as an evening of “Snacks & Sips & Dancing & Dessert.” What do you think?

  • “There will be snacks? How glamorous!”

    Lonnie May Jackhammer Operator
  • “I guess whatever little miss First Lady wants, little miss First Lady gets.”

    Keith Ballard Tap Dancing Instructor
  • “Wow, she made it to 50? Must be her active lifestyle. Incredible.”

    Whitney Kirby Donut Icer
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