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Politics

Bill O’Reilly Tearfully Packs Up Framed Up-Skirt Photos From Desk

NEW YORK—Smiling wistfully as he gazed at the cherished mementos that had sat on his desk for much of the past 20 years, former Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly reportedly grew teary-eyed Thursday as he packed up the framed up-skirt photos from his work space following his termination by the cable channel.

Donald Trump Jr. Takes Son On Hunting Trip In National Zoo

WASHINGTON—In what he referred to as an important rite of passage for his 8-year-old son, Donald John III, Donald Trump Jr. took his eldest boy to the Smithsonian National Zoological Park for his first-ever hunting trip, sources said Wednesday.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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Michigan, Florida Get Half Representation

The Democratic National Committee ruled that delegates from Michigan and Florida will get only half votes at the party’s convention in August. What do you think?
  • "Sounds like the kind of opaque and seemingly arbitrary arrangement that's sure to please everyone."

    Gus Yarrington Ice Cream Truck Driver
  • "What losers. Have fun hanging out with Puerto Rico and Guam."

    Pam Stroh Self Defense Instructor
  • "Given the emigration rate in Michigan and the mortality rate in Florida, I bet the revised delegate counts will actually be more representative of the states' populations come convention time."

    Chris Patterson Window Washer

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Donald Trump Jr. Takes Son On Hunting Trip In National Zoo

WASHINGTON—In what he referred to as an important rite of passage for his 8-year-old son, Donald John III, Donald Trump Jr. took his eldest boy to the Smithsonian National Zoological Park for his first-ever hunting trip, sources said Wednesday.

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