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Politics

Robert Mueller Driving SUV 100 MPH Down Runway As Air Force One Narrowly Lifts Off

PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY, MD—Sending a pair of guards scrambling for safety as he gunned his black SUV through a chain-link gate and onto the tarmac, Robert Mueller, the former FBI director who was recently tapped to lead the ongoing investigation into the Trump campaign’s ties to Russia, chased Air Force One down the runway at Joint Base Andrews moments before takeoff, sources reported Tuesday.

Trump Asks Entire Senate To Clear Out Of Chamber So He Can Speak To Comey Alone

WASHINGTON—Entering through a side door and bidding the assembled legislators, congressional aides, and members of the media to give him a moment with the former FBI director, President Donald Trump reportedly asked the entire Senate to clear the chamber during James Comey’s testimony Thursday so he could speak to him alone.

A Timeline Of The Watergate Scandal

With the White House mired in controversy, comparisons to Washington’s most famous scandal have been common, if not always accurate. Forty-five years after the events leading to Nixon’s resignation, The Onion presents a detailed timeline of the Watergate scandal.
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Michigan, Florida Get Half Representation

The Democratic National Committee ruled that delegates from Michigan and Florida will get only half votes at the party’s convention in August. What do you think?
  • "Sounds like the kind of opaque and seemingly arbitrary arrangement that's sure to please everyone."

    Gus Yarrington Ice Cream Truck Driver
  • "What losers. Have fun hanging out with Puerto Rico and Guam."

    Pam Stroh Self Defense Instructor
  • "Given the emigration rate in Michigan and the mortality rate in Florida, I bet the revised delegate counts will actually be more representative of the states' populations come convention time."

    Chris Patterson Window Washer

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