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Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

New EPA Chief Proposes 30% Cut In All Carbon-Based Organisms

WASHINGTON—Expressing confidence that the nation would meet the ambitious benchmarks by the end of Donald Trump’s presidential term, Scott Pruitt, the president-elect’s nominee for chief of the Environmental Protection Agency, said Thursday he would seek a 30 percent cut in all carbon-based organisms upon assuming office.
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Mick Jagger’s Hair Up For Auction

A British auction house will sell several locks of Mick Jagger’s hair, which are expected to fetch between $2,300 and $3,100, and which are said to date back to the mid-1960s, when the grandmother of a woman who was then dating the Rolling Stones frontman took some of his hair without his knowledge. What do you think?

  • “I learned a long time ago that unless you’re getting the whole scalp, never pay more than $1,200 for hair.”

    Alexander Schmidt Linen Grader
  • “I’ve got the perfect spot for it next to Jerry Garcia’s finger.”

    June Hunt Abrasive Mixer
  • “Damn it! I also had samples of Jagger’s hair, but I stupidly mixed them in with a big bag of hair.”

    Joe Barnathan Film Inspector

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