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Man Knows Exactly Which Asshole Got Him Sick

SARATOGA SPRINGS, NY—Immediately realizing the genesis of the fever and sore throat that left him feeling like shit, 30-year-old local man Edward Mosley told reporters Tuesday that he knows exactly which asshole got him sick.

How Gerrymandering Works

The Supreme Court is considering a case regarding the partisan gerrymandering of districts in Wisconsin, which could change the way maps are drawn across the country. Here is a step-by-step guide to how Gerrymandering works.
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Mick Jagger’s Hair Up For Auction

A British auction house will sell several locks of Mick Jagger’s hair, which are expected to fetch between $2,300 and $3,100, and which are said to date back to the mid-1960s, when the grandmother of a woman who was then dating the Rolling Stones frontman took some of his hair without his knowledge. What do you think?

  • “I learned a long time ago that unless you’re getting the whole scalp, never pay more than $1,200 for hair.”

    Alexander Schmidt Linen Grader
  • “I’ve got the perfect spot for it next to Jerry Garcia’s finger.”

    June Hunt Abrasive Mixer
  • “Damn it! I also had samples of Jagger’s hair, but I stupidly mixed them in with a big bag of hair.”

    Joe Barnathan Film Inspector

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