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Fermilab Receives Generous Anonymous Particle Donation

BATAVIA, IL—Calling it the most substantial private donation the research facility has received in years, officials at the Fermi National Accelerator Laboratory announced Monday that an anonymous benefactor had given them a generous particle donation.

God Excited About First Trip To Japan

THE HEAVENS—After years of talking about visiting the East Asian country, God, Our Lord and Heavenly Father, told reporters Monday that He was excited to finally be taking His first trip to Japan.
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Microsoft Announces Major Company Overhaul

In a bid to compete more fiercely with competitors like Apple, Google, and Amazon, Microsoft on Thursday announced a sweeping reorganization, which officials say will help the company react more quickly to changing technology and speed up development of products. What do you think?

  • “Is this about money?”

    Jessica Covert Library Consultant
  • “Smart. Like all visionary tech companies, they’re copying exactly what Apple has been doing for years.”

    Oliver Reilly Commercial Diver
  • "I miss the good old days of Microsoft when they didn’t care about competing with other companies.”

    Brian Shannon Mattress Packer

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