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Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.

Report: Grandpa Just Walks Like That Now

CULVER CITY, CA—According to family sources, the prominent limp displayed by local grandpa Marvin Adelstein on Tuesday is indicative of the fact that he just walks like that now.
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Microsoft Ending Support For Windows XP

Twelve years after introducing the operating system, which now runs on nearly 30 percent of all desktops, Microsoft has announced that starting on April 8 it will no longer be offering security updates or customer support for the software. What do you think?

  • “Does this mean I’ll need to re-install Zoo Tycoon?”

    Ken Lohman Blog Curator
  • “You’ve got to take the training wheels off sometime.”

    Lesley Welch Remote Control Programmer
  • “Not if I have anything to do with it, which I don’t, so it sounds like Microsoft is probably going to make this happen.”

    Anton Cho Silver Polisher
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