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Man Holding Hands With Pregnant Woman Must Have Weird Fetish

RED BANK, NJ—Testing the limits of what even the most progressive onlookers considered publicly acceptable, a man was seen by multiple witnesses Tuesday holding hands with a visibly pregnant woman in what many could only interpret as the expression of a bizarre fetish.
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Microsoft Fine Upheld In Court

Europe's second highest court recently upheld the European Commission's 2004 decision to fine Microsoft 497 million euros for antitrust violations. What do you think?
  • "This is all very interesting for Europe, but remind me again what it has to do with America?"

    Baly Harper Assistant District Attorney
  • "Don't they know all those fines are just going to force Microsoft to produce an inferior product? I mean, a more inferior one?"

    Chuck Gardner Printer
  • "This is an important ruling for anybody who believes in antitrust laws or anybody who likes it when rich people lose money."

    Eric Isensee Systems Analyst

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