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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Microsoft Fine Upheld In Court

Europe's second highest court recently upheld the European Commission's 2004 decision to fine Microsoft 497 million euros for antitrust violations. What do you think?
  • "This is all very interesting for Europe, but remind me again what it has to do with America?"

    Baly Harper Assistant District Attorney
  • "Don't they know all those fines are just going to force Microsoft to produce an inferior product? I mean, a more inferior one?"

    Chuck Gardner Printer
  • "This is an important ruling for anybody who believes in antitrust laws or anybody who likes it when rich people lose money."

    Eric Isensee Systems Analyst
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