Microsoft Introducing Siri Competitor ‘Cortana’

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DOYLESTOWN, PA—Facetiously questioning how the game had suddenly become a non-contact sport, local father Aaron Harper confirmed his belief Thursday that referees officiating a Thanksgiving game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Detroit Lions should just let them play football out there.
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Microsoft Introducing Siri Competitor ‘Cortana’

Video leaked online this week revealed that Microsoft is developing a competitor to voice-activated smartphone virtual assistants like Apple’s Siri and Google Now tentatively called Cortana, which will appear as an animated circle icon. What do you think?

  • “Good, I need a soprano for my Virtual Assistant quartet.”

    Jim O’Rourke
    Fan Installer
  • “Every time you think Microsoft is done innovating, there they are with another brilliant, unprecedented feature like this.”

    Tom Hamilton
    Choir Conductor
  • “I had a falling out with that bitch Siri, so hopefully this Cortana bitch will be nicer.”

    Martha Drimmer
    Account Manager