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Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

New EPA Chief Proposes 30% Cut In All Carbon-Based Organisms

WASHINGTON—Expressing confidence that the nation would meet the ambitious benchmarks by the end of Donald Trump’s presidential term, Scott Pruitt, the president-elect’s nominee for chief of the Environmental Protection Agency, said Thursday he would seek a 30 percent cut in all carbon-based organisms upon assuming office.
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Microsoft Introducing Siri Competitor ‘Cortana’

Video leaked online this week revealed that Microsoft is developing a competitor to voice-activated smartphone virtual assistants like Apple’s Siri and Google Now tentatively called Cortana, which will appear as an animated circle icon. What do you think?

  • “Good, I need a soprano for my Virtual Assistant quartet.”

    Jim O’Rourke Fan Installer
  • “Every time you think Microsoft is done innovating, there they are with another brilliant, unprecedented feature like this.”

    Tom Hamilton Choir Conductor
  • “I had a falling out with that bitch Siri, so hopefully this Cortana bitch will be nicer.”

    Martha Drimmer Account Manager

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