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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
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Microsoft Releases Security Patch

Last week, Microsoft released a patch for a critical security flaw in its Internet Explorer web browser. What do you think?

  • "Well, this meets all the criteria for things I'm most terrified of: something I don't understand at all and refuse to learn more about."

    Stefan Wells Campaign Consultant
  • "Thanks, but I'll pass. I kind of like how the Nigerians rearranged my desktop."

    Layna Torgerson Pest Control
  • "From what I gather, this patch works by plugging the remote code execution vulnerability in the VML, while a web page with VML when a rect tag is displayed in IE. Anyone who understands what this means has earned the right to attack my computer."

    Greg Anderson Line Cook
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