adBlockCheck

Business

Helpful Man Saves Woman Effort Of Telling Idea To Boss Herself

ATLANTA—In an unprompted act of generosity from one coworker to another, Spryte Logistics employee Ben Graham reportedly took the initiative to share one of Emily Fehrman’s ideas with their boss on Friday, saving her the time and effort of doing it herself.

Fisher-Price Releases New In Utero Fetal Activity Gym

EAST AURORA, NY—Touting it as the perfect tool for entertaining and stimulating the fetus during gestation, Fisher-Price announced the release Wednesday of a new in utero activity gym. “Whether they’re batting at the friendly toucans in order to harden their cartilage into bone or tapping the multicolored light-up palm tree to test out their sense of vision once their eyes open at 28 weeks, the Fisher-Price Rainforest Friends Prenatal Activity Gym is guaranteed to give your fetus a head start and keep it happy and occupied,” said director of marketing Kevin Goldbaum.

It Kind Of Sweet CEO Thinks He Doing Good Job

SEATTLE—Admitting that the sight of him laying out his vision for the company was pretty endearing, employees at Rainier Solutions reported Monday that it was kind of sweet that CEO Greg Warner thinks he is doing a good job.

How Obamacare Can Be Improved

With Aetna just the latest health insurance provider to opt out of covering Obamacare markets, many are wondering what changes can make the Affordable Care Act more appealing to customers and insurance companies. Here are some proposed improvements

How Internet Clickbait Works

Facebook and other sites have recently begun to fight back against “clickbait,” often misleading internet posts designed to be seen by as many readers as possible. The Onion breaks down the production and spread of this content
End Of Section
  • More News

Microsoft Under Fire

Last week, the Justice Department and 20 states filed an antitrust suit against Microsoft, accusing the software giant of monopolistic business practices, such as its inclusion of Internet Explorer on Windows 98. What do you think?
  • "I just got that new Microsoft recombinant-superflu virus, and unless I shell out $5,000 for the Microsoft immune-system DNA upgrades, I've only got a year to live."

    Peter Mills Waiter
  • "Bill Gates should be left alone to do his job. While the press is busy hounding him, he's still got to run the country, you know."

    Duane Griffin Systems Anaylst
  • "I bet Bill Gates could win over the Justice Department if he got an even huger video screen to stand in front of at all times."

    Karen Higgins Kinesiologist
  • "I look forward to discussing this Microsoft lawsuit with my fellow business travelers en route to my upcoming conference in Phoenix."

    Thomas Vaught Sales Representative
  • "This Microsoft-Justice Department standoff is all anyone's talking about here at the shelter."

    Sandra Robinson Unemployed
  • "Microsoft should be free to do as it pleases without government interference. Bill Gates has my full support in this matter end load
    c:\\."

    Larry Rice Bank Teller

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close