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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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Migrating Whooping Cranes Stall In Alabama

Nine whooping cranes that had been following an ultralight aircraft as it guided them on their migratory route stopped when they reached Alabama, 500 miles short of the intended destination. What do you think?

  • “Well, Alabama does seem to be a place where creatures with some ostensible direction tend to get mired.”

    Ben Kelly Monument Setter
  • "You don't hear about this type of slacking from sandhill cranes."

    Lindsey McCormack Agricultural-Chemicals Inspector
  • "Wooo! That's where I'm from!"

    Bill Jones Tutor
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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

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