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20 Years Of Harry Potter

J.K. Rowling published ‘Harry Potter And The Philosopher’s Stone’ on June 26th, 1997, and it instantly became a cultural touchstone. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the 20-year history of the Harry Potter franchise.

Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.
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Military Academies Under Fire

With the Citadel and the Virginia Military Institute opening their doors to women in recent months, only three all-male military colleges now remain in the U.S. What do you think?
  • "At schools like the Citadel, boys are turned into identityless drones devoid of any emotions save hate and slavish obedience. I'd say that's an opportunity no young girl would be able to resist."

    James Raneiri Security Guard
  • "If these all-male schools are anything like Chippendales' sizzling all-male revue, I want in. Oh, those buns!"

    Stacy Posner Neurosurgeon
  • "I attend an all-male school, and I agree wholeheartedly that women should be allowed to attend. I'm sick of fucking my sock."

    Jesse DuMond Loan Officer
  • "As the first black to attend the University of Mississippi, I applaud these women's efforts. I also recommend playing dead when being beaten by an angry, bat-wielding mob."

    Oliver Ralston Electrician
  • "With all those pretty girls around, how are cadets supposed to pay attention to the three Rs of military education: Readin', Ritin' and Rectal Rape?"

    Kenny Long Archaeologist
  • "What if they held a military academy and nobody came? Think about it."

    Kathryn Heller Taste Tester

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