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Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Can Trump Follow Through On His Campaign Promises?

President-elect Donald Trump made a variety of lofty promises during his campaign as part of a pledge to “make America great again.” The Onion looks at several of these promises and evaluates whether Trump will be willing or able to follow through on them.

Being A Mom Was The Best Four Years Of My Life!

As I get older, I find myself reflecting on my life more often and marveling at what an amazing journey it’s been. I’ve made tons of great friends, been to magnificent places all over the world, and learned so many important things about myself along the way. But if I’m being honest, there’s one period of my life that stands out from all the rest: those four incredible years when I was a mom.
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Military Academies Under Fire

With the Citadel and the Virginia Military Institute opening their doors to women in recent months, only three all-male military colleges now remain in the U.S. What do you think?
  • "At schools like the Citadel, boys are turned into identityless drones devoid of any emotions save hate and slavish obedience. I'd say that's an opportunity no young girl would be able to resist."

    James Raneiri Security Guard
  • "If these all-male schools are anything like Chippendales' sizzling all-male revue, I want in. Oh, those buns!"

    Stacy Posner Neurosurgeon
  • "I attend an all-male school, and I agree wholeheartedly that women should be allowed to attend. I'm sick of fucking my sock."

    Jesse DuMond Loan Officer
  • "As the first black to attend the University of Mississippi, I applaud these women's efforts. I also recommend playing dead when being beaten by an angry, bat-wielding mob."

    Oliver Ralston Electrician
  • "With all those pretty girls around, how are cadets supposed to pay attention to the three Rs of military education: Readin', Ritin' and Rectal Rape?"

    Kenny Long Archaeologist
  • "What if they held a military academy and nobody came? Think about it."

    Kathryn Heller Taste Tester

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