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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Military Funeral Protests Banned

President Bush signed a bill that bans protests at military funerals. What do you think?
  • "That's unfair. It's impossible to hold a protest nowadays without being in the vicinity of a military funeral."

    Amy Ketchum Systems Analyst
  • "Is there any way that bill can be expanded to protect postal workers’ funerals? My dad's was a fiasco."

    Jeff Benway Longshoreman
  • "I hope that doesn't extend to actors who have played military figures, because I've got quite the spectacle planned for Sylvester Stallone's final sendoff."

    Aaron Oxfeld Satellite-Dish Installer
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