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Military Funeral Protests Banned

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Entire Broncos Organization Announces Retirement After Super Bowl Win

‘There’s Nothing Better Than Going Out On Top,’ Says Every Denver Player, Coach, Executive, Trainer, Office Administrator, Janitor

SANTA CLARA, CA—Following the team’s 24-10 victory over the Carolina Panthers in Super Bowl 50, every single member of the Denver Broncos organization officially announced their retirement Sunday.

Family, Friends Concerned After Peyton Manning Wanders Away From Pocket

SANTA CLARA, CA—Admitting to being “worried sick” after realizing he had suddenly disappeared in the middle of a play, family and friends of Peyton Manning grew incredibly concerned Sunday after the veteran Denver Broncos quarterback wandered away from the pocket during the first quarter of Super Bowl 50, sources confirmed.
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Military Funeral Protests Banned

President Bush signed a bill that bans protests at military funerals. What do you think?
  • "That's unfair. It's impossible to hold a protest nowadays without being in the vicinity of a military funeral."

    Amy Ketchum
    Systems Analyst
  • "Is there any way that bill can be expanded to protect postal workers’ funerals? My dad's was a fiasco."

    Jeff Benway
    Longshoreman
  • "I hope that doesn't extend to actors who have played military figures, because I've got quite the spectacle planned for Sylvester Stallone's final sendoff."

    Aaron Oxfeld
    Satellite-Dish Installer

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