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20 Years Of Harry Potter

J.K. Rowling published ‘Harry Potter And The Philosopher’s Stone’ on June 26th, 1997, and it instantly became a cultural touchstone. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the 20-year history of the Harry Potter franchise.

Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.

Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.
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Military Sex Scandals

In the past year, several military officers have been involved in major sex scandals, ranging from adultery to sexual assault. What do you think about sex and the military?
  • "After a night of lovemaking with a female recruit, I honorably discharged my semen all over her tits."

    Randall Farber Private First Class
  • "What did these women think would happen, parading around in front of their commanding officers every day—right, left, right, left, right, left...?"

    Christine Forrester Math Teacher
  • "The real problem here is the uniform--It's like a chick magnet, man."

    Alvin Buchwald Midshipman
  • "I once had sex in the military, but my sergeant said it was okay, since I killed the gook bitch afterwards."

    Ed Delessandro Corporal
  • "You people don't understand! There was a war on! It was rape or be raped! You can't imagine the horror!"

    Leo Orff Lieutenant, USM (Ret.)
  • "This has been a problem ever since Bill Murray gave M.P. P.J. Soles the infamous 'Aunt Jemima Treatment.'"

    Janet Meyerson Systems Analyst

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20 Years Of Harry Potter

J.K. Rowling published ‘Harry Potter And The Philosopher’s Stone’ on June 26th, 1997, and it instantly became a cultural touchstone. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the 20-year history of the Harry Potter franchise.

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