Military-Trained Ukrainian ‘Killer’ Dolphins On Loose

Top Headlines

Recent News

‘SportsCenter’ Co-Anchors Clearly Dating

BRISTOL, CT—Saying that the pair could barely take their eyes off one another throughout the hour-long sports news program, ESPN viewers told reporters Friday that it is increasingly clear SportsCenter anchors John Anderson and Matt Barrie are currently dating.

Terrifying Uniformed Bachelorette Party Storms Local Bar

TACOMA, WA—Bursting into the establishment seemingly out of nowhere and overtaking it within a matter of moments, a terrifying uniformed bachelorette party stormed local pub Casey’s Saloon Friday night, onlookers reported.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Good Times

Fantasy Sports

FIFA Frantically Announces 2015 Summer World Cup In United States

Global Soccer Tournament To Kick Off In America Later This Afternoon

ZURICH—After the Justice Department indicted numerous executives from world soccer’s governing body on charges of corruption and bribery, frantic and visibly nervous officials from FIFA held an impromptu press conference Wednesday to announce that the United States has been selected to host this summer’s 2015 World Cup.

Military-Trained Ukrainian ‘Killer’ Dolphins On Loose

Three dolphins trained by the Ukrainian navy to detect mines, attack enemies using guns or knives attached to their heads, and plant bombs on ships have gone missing in the Black Sea, with some speculating that the marine mammals deserted to look for mates. What do you think?

  • “If there’s one thing I’ve learned about arming mammals: Don’t.”

    Wolfgang Heeley
    Dye Lab Technician
  • “They should know well enough that it’s too dangerous to fall in love in this profession.”

    Ewan Crandon
    Systems Analyst
  • “I think dolphins should only undergo unnatural and painstakingly relentless training to do nice things.”

    Natascha Hallam
    Fraud Investigator
Next Story