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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Milky Way May Contain 17 Billion Earth-Size Planets

Using data from NASA’s Kepler spacecraft, two independent teams of astronomers have estimated that the Milky Way galaxy contains some 17 billion planets that are similar in size to Earth. What do you think?

  • “Are they sure they’re not double-counting Earth?”

    Teddy Schiarelli Kitchen Runner
  • “Cool. We should set up some sort of well-funded federal space program to go explore some of them.”

    Rupert Avalon Quarry Supervisor
  • “Okay, I’ll check them out as soon as I finally hit every state here in the U.S., but I’ve still got about 13 to go.”

    Susanne Fox Human Factors Specialist
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