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Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

New EPA Chief Proposes 30% Cut In All Carbon-Based Organisms

WASHINGTON—Expressing confidence that the nation would meet the ambitious benchmarks by the end of Donald Trump’s presidential term, Scott Pruitt, the president-elect’s nominee for chief of the Environmental Protection Agency, said Thursday he would seek a 30 percent cut in all carbon-based organisms upon assuming office.
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Millionaire To Send Married Couple To Mars

American multimillionaire Dennis Tito, famous for being the first space tourist in 2001, announced plans to finance a 500-day mission that would send a spacecraft carrying a married civilian couple to fly by Mars and then return to Earth. What do you think?

  • “Absolutely nothing about this is a bad idea.”

    Bud Batha Sewage Plant Supervisor
  • “I hope there isn’t going to be one of those bullshit twists where the couple’s names turn out to be Adam and Eve.”

    Karen Humberger Helminthologist
  • “Sounds like a perfect trip, minus the wife part! Ha, I’m just kidding. I would love to experience something like that with Marie.”

    Douglas Alstadter Inseam Trimmer

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