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Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 24, 2017

Aquarius No offense, but when got into this business, dealing with empty and meaningless futures like yours sure as hell wasn’t what it had in mind. Pisces Though you’ve been told that dressing up once in a while wouldn’t kill you, the coroner’s report this week will contain evidence to the contrary.

How Movies Receive Their Ratings

Many Americans use the MPAA’s formalized rating system as a guide for which films to see. The Onion provides a step-by-step view into how these ratings are chosen:

‘Winnie-The-Pooh’ Turns 90

Winnie-The-Pooh, the A.A. Milne series featuring a stuffed bear and his toy animal friends, debuted 90 years ago this week. Here are some milestones from the franchise’s nearly century-long run:
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Miss Teen Louisiana Dethroned

With only 11 days to go before her successor was appointed, the reigning Miss Teen Louisiana was stripped of her crown in response to her arrest for a "dine and dash" and possessing marijuana. What do you think?
  • "The saddest part is watching them take back the kind wishes she gave to all those sick kids."

    Denise Kornbluth Systems Analyst
  • "It's very sad, but the nation needs to heal, so I hope the next Miss Teen Louisiana does the right thing and pardons her."

    Pro McNamara Corrections Officer
  • "This is the worst thing to happen to Louisiana in at least three years."

    Max Parduhn Audio Video Technician

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