Missile Numbers Reclassified

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Area Dad Thinks Refs Should Just Let Them Play Football

DOYLESTOWN, PA—Facetiously questioning how the game had suddenly become a non-contact sport, local father Aaron Harper confirmed his belief Thursday that referees officiating a Thanksgiving game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Detroit Lions should just let them play football out there.
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Missile Numbers Reclassified

The United States is reclassifying the count and locations of its Cold War nuclear missiles, information which has been in the public domain for decades. What do you think?
  • "Until they classify the movie War Games there will be a map of all US missile-installation sites available on cable every four hours."

    Ron Napier
  • "Nothing wrong with admitting you made a mistake—in this case, telling the truth to an informed public. But it's not too late to correct that mistake."

    Jerome Bahn
    Stamp Collector
  • "We have to protect our missiles. What means do they have to defend themselves?"

    Rachel Shapiro
    Creative Director