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Missing Beatles Track Confirmed

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Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.

Lost Jack London Manuscript, ‘The Doggy,’ Found

RYE, NY—Workers inventorying the estate of a recently deceased Westchester County art dealer earlier this month reportedly stumbled upon a draft of a previously unknown Jack London novel titled The Doggy, and the work is already being hailed by many within the literary world as a masterpiece.
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Missing Beatles Track Confirmed

In an interview with the BBC, Paul McCartney confirmed the existence of a 14-minute track the Beatles recorded for an electronic music festival. What do you think?
  • "Oh God. My doctor says it's bad for my blood pressure if my mind is blown for more than five minutes at a time."

    Jonathan Dunn Plumbing Wholesaler
  • "As manager of a classic-hits station that's always trying to fill time, I'm thrilled to say this could be 'In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida' and 'American Pie' rolled into one."

    Kitty Barber Radio Station Manager
  • "Maybe this discovery will finally reveal the secret of 'Eight Days A Week' to me. I don't get that song! A week has seven days!"

    J.D. Sutton Assisted Living Coordinator

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