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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.
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Missing Beatles Track Confirmed

In an interview with the BBC, Paul McCartney confirmed the existence of a 14-minute track the Beatles recorded for an electronic music festival. What do you think?
  • "Oh God. My doctor says it's bad for my blood pressure if my mind is blown for more than five minutes at a time."

    Jonathan Dunn Plumbing Wholesaler
  • "As manager of a classic-hits station that's always trying to fill time, I'm thrilled to say this could be 'In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida' and 'American Pie' rolled into one."

    Kitty Barber Radio Station Manager
  • "Maybe this discovery will finally reveal the secret of 'Eight Days A Week' to me. I don't get that song! A week has seven days!"

    J.D. Sutton Assisted Living Coordinator

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