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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Moisturizers Cause Cancer In Mice

Four moisturizers have been found to cause skin cancer in mice. What do you think?
  • "If you're trying to sucker me into running a mouse-cancer 5K, I'm not going to do it. I've lost too many damn weekends to those things."

    Danielle Molinaro Systems Analyst
  • "At least it made those tumors 41 percent more radiant."

    LaVon Wilson Networking Consultant
  • "What about eye shadow? Can I still apply eye shadow to my mice?"

    Warren Peller Backhoe Operator
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