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Monica Lewinsky’s Clothes, Negligee Up For Auction

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360 Tour: Inside The RNC

The Onion invites you to explore our view from the floor of the 2016 Republican National Convention in Cleveland.

Good Guy With Gun, Bad Guy With Gun Both Excited To Unload Firearm In Crowd Outside Arena

CLEVELAND—As each of them looked around at the people gathered outside Quicken Loans Arena and fantasized about unholstering their weapon and taking aim directly at others, both a good guy with a gun and a bad guy with a gun attending the Republican National Convention reportedly worked themselves into a heightened state of excitement Thursday at the thought of unloading their firearm into the crowd.

Bob Dole Picked Off By Large Hawk Circling Arena Parking Lot

CLEVELAND—Describing how the bird of prey suddenly dived down from the sky at high velocity, sources confirmed Thursday that former GOP presidential nominee Bob Dole was picked off by a large red-tailed hawk circling above the Quicken Loans Arena parking lot.
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Monica Lewinsky’s Clothes, Negligee Up For Auction

Thirty-two items that belonged to Monica Lewinsky during her time as a White House intern will be auctioned online, including a floor-length black negligee, a letter signed by President Bill Clinton, and a number of articles of clothing. What do you think?

  • “Unfortunately, my memorabilia budget is all tapped out from that Nancy Kerrigan estate sale.”

    Al Campos Flying Instructor
  • “I have authorized my agents to place several bids.”

    Wes Krakoff Shipping Magnate
  • “Please, please don’t bring up anything having to do with Monica Lewinsky. It’ll only awaken the deep, unbearable pain and anguish that roiled this country for many years.”

    Susan Sonski Remittance Clerk

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