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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.

Report: Grandpa Just Walks Like That Now

CULVER CITY, CA—According to family sources, the prominent limp displayed by local grandpa Marvin Adelstein on Tuesday is indicative of the fact that he just walks like that now.
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Moose Dying Off Across North America

Moose populations are falling sharply across Canada and the northern United States, and while scientists do not have a specific explanation as to why, most suspect that climate change is to blame. What do you think?

  • “I knew moose couldn’t hack it.”

    Robin Leitner Puppeteer
  • “Plenty more animals where that came from.”

    Gary Wood Systems Analyst
  • “Did you know moose are great swimmers? Sorry, I just read a book.”

    Francois Sarzotti Load Tester
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