Recent News

Woman Conducting Ongoing Scientific Experiment On Own Skin

DULUTH, MN—Noting her methodic applications of various chemical agents in carefully controlled combinations, sources confirmed Wednesday that local woman Sara Holloway has been carrying out an open-ended scientific experiment on her own skin.

Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
End Of Section
  • More News

More Men Getting Plastic Surgery

In 2010, 1.1 million men underwent cosmetic surgery, an increase of 2 percent. What do you think?

  • "It's the 21st century: Why should women have a monopoly on shapely breasts?"

    Allison Desjardins Unemployed
  • "Can they make my arms longer? Because there's some good stuff on the top shelf at home I've been dying to get to."

    Tony Lariva Systems Analyst
  • "That's too bad. I've always thought of dangerous, potentially disfiguring procedures as being very feminine."

    Ben Duchac Heel Sorter
More Videos


More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.