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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.
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More Men Getting Plastic Surgery

In 2010, 1.1 million men underwent cosmetic surgery, an increase of 2 percent. What do you think?

  • "It's the 21st century: Why should women have a monopoly on shapely breasts?"

    Allison Desjardins Unemployed
  • "Can they make my arms longer? Because there's some good stuff on the top shelf at home I've been dying to get to."

    Tony Lariva Systems Analyst
  • "That's too bad. I've always thought of dangerous, potentially disfiguring procedures as being very feminine."

    Ben Duchac Heel Sorter

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