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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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More Peanut Butter Products Recalled

As more cases of peanut-butter-related salmonella pop up, more products are being recalled, including cookies, snack bars, and ice cream. What you think?
  • "Finally, the day has come when I will no longer be ridiculed for eating a jelly and fish-paste sandwich."

    Loretta Rinehart Materials Manager
  • "So, am I sick because of the salmonella or because I just ate 5 pounds of Reese's Pieces?"

    Brian Hale Armored Car Messenger
  • "I hope they get this figured out soon so I can return to providing my child with lunch."

    Gregory Carpenter Systems Analyst
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