More States Allow Guns In Bars

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Vol 46 Issue 41

NFL Considers Building Second Stadium

NEW YORK—NFL spokesman Greg Aiello announced Monday that, after years of deliberation, NFL team owners will vote on the proposed construction of a second football stadium in order to ease current difficulties with scheduling and overcrowding.

Brady Quinn Hasn't Heard That Name In Ages

DENVER—Upon overhearing visitors to the Broncos training facility inquire about third-string quarterback Brady Quinn, a young but grizzled Brady Quinn was seen to lean forward, raise his eyebrows, frown thoughtfully, and cast his eyes upward in appa...

Cyclist Friend Explains Necessity Of $35 Socks

MONESSEN, PA—Recreational cyclist Ethan Coseglia, 38, thoroughly explained the benefits of wearing $35 bike-riding socks to his friend Kevin Washburn Friday, saying that his specially designed socks are essential in optimizing his overall cycling performance.
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More States Allow Guns In Bars

Four states—Tennessee, Virginia, Georgia, and Arizona—have recently passed laws explicitly allowing licensed gun owners to bring concealed handguns into bars with them. What do you think?

  • "That's nice, but it just makes me think of all the other great places I can't bring guns to."

    Brett Catapano
    Drop-Ceiling Installer
  • "I don't understand the problem. What kind of nut wants to shoot a gun sober?"

    Tricia Marlowe
    Centrifuge Operator
  • "What a shame. It used to be that one guy would bring his gun to the bar and everyone would just take turns using it. It really built a sense of community."

    Bill Malcohn
    Unemployed
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