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Woman Conducting Ongoing Scientific Experiment On Own Skin

DULUTH, MN—Noting her methodic applications of various chemical agents in carefully controlled combinations, sources confirmed Wednesday that local woman Sara Holloway has been carrying out an open-ended scientific experiment on her own skin.
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More TVs Than People

The average American home now contains more televisions than people. What do you think?
  • "Does that include the people on the televisions? Because they are just as much a part of my household as my children."

    Danielle Prediger Systems Analyst
  • "Are you sure that report wasn't talking about books? I could see that being the case with books. As a nation, we love to read."

    George Riley Furrier
  • "As a TV repairman and serial killer, I feel partly to blame for this problem."

    Lionel Kelley TV Repairman
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