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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.
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More White Americans Dying Than Being Born

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, for the first time in modern history, more white Americans are dying than being born, with whites predicted to fall below 50 percent of the population by 2043. What do you think?

  • “Of all the whites, I will miss Bill the most.”

    Jerome Surratt Fan Assembler
  • “Our scarcity will only increase our value.”

    Natalie Barckhoff Camera Operator
  • “Can’t answer, on my way to my wedding! My beloved Katie and I can’t wait to start a family and…unnngh! Urrrgh! Ohhh... c-can’t ... breathe ... having ... massive ... heart ... attack.”

    James Leichenko Arbor Inspector

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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

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