More White Americans Dying Than Being Born

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Area Dad Thinks Refs Should Just Let Them Play Football

DOYLESTOWN, PA—Facetiously questioning how the game had suddenly become a non-contact sport, local father Aaron Harper confirmed his belief Thursday that referees officiating a Thanksgiving game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Detroit Lions should just let them play football out there.
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More White Americans Dying Than Being Born

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, for the first time in modern history, more white Americans are dying than being born, with whites predicted to fall below 50 percent of the population by 2043. What do you think?

  • “Of all the whites, I will miss Bill the most.”

    Jerome Surratt
    Fan Assembler
  • “Our scarcity will only increase our value.”

    Natalie Barckhoff
    Camera Operator
  • “Can’t answer, on my way to my wedding! My beloved Katie and I can’t wait to start a family and…unnngh! Urrrgh! Ohhh... c-can’t ... breathe ... having ... massive ... heart ... attack.”

    James Leichenko
    Arbor Inspector