More Women Getting Hand Surgery To Look Good In ‘Ring Selfies’

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Vol 50 Issue 33

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THE HEAVENS—Noting that He was a little shaken but would be all right, sources confirmed Friday that the Lord God Almighty, Our Heavenly Father, was struck by a DirecTV satellite approximately 22,000 miles above earth, rendering Him unconscious for ...
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More Women Getting Hand Surgery To Look Good In ‘Ring Selfies’

A growing number of engaged women are undergoing plastic surgery procedures on their hands to look better in pictures they take of the rings on their fingers, known as “ring selfies,” paying $3,000 or more to smooth out skin texture and reduce the appearance of veins. What do you think?

  • “It’s nice having a crazy expense like this to fill the gap between purchasing an absurdly overpriced ring and throwing a ludicrously expensive wedding.”

    Marion Strano
    Brand Ambassador
  • “Why do that when you can just hire a hand model for about a third of the price?”

    Jerry Bresnahan
    Keyboard Cleaner
  • “And all this time, I never realized I could’ve been judging women by their hands.”

    Ted Schubb
    Floor Plan Tester
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