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More Women Moving In With Partners Before Marriage

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NFL Vows To Fix Bottomless Pit On Levi’s Stadium Field Before Super Bowl

SANTA CLARA, CA—Following persistent safety concerns regarding the playing surface throughout the regular season, the NFL made firm assurances Friday to both the Denver Broncos and Carolina Panthers that the bottomless pit in the middle of the field at Levi’s Stadium will be fully repaired before Super Bowl 50.

Area Man Would Hate Cam Newton Even If He Was Different Minority

MURRAY, KY—Adamantly stressing that his disdain for the 26-year-old quarterback is not based on any racial prejudice toward African Americans, local 49-year-old Michael Willet told reporters Friday that he would hate Cam Newton even if the Carolina Panthers star was a different minority.

Monocle-Wearing Oil Baron’s Cigarette Holder Splinters In Clenched Teeth After Hearing Bernie Sanders’ Environmental Platform

GREENWICH, CT—Leaving him visibly seething as he sat in his tufted leather wingback chair in his study, monocle-wearing oil baron Frederick Porter Harriman’s ivory-inlaid cigarette holder reportedly splintered between his clenched teeth upon him hearing presidential candidate Bernie Sanders outline his environmental platform during Thursday night’s Democratic debate.
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More Women Moving In With Partners Before Marriage

According to a new study, between 2006 and 2010, 48 percent of all women between the ages of 15 and 44 moved in with their male partners without being married, up from 34 percent in 1995. What do you think?

  • “I’m gonna start reciting Bible verses at random. Stop me when I hit one that forbids this.”

    Hugh Rand
    Administrative Analyst
  • “Well, sure. Everyone knows there’s nothing hotter for your sex life than a surprise-free domestic routine.”

    Laura Meyerson
    Ferris Wheel Operator
  • “Not me. Mother and I will be living off her disability checks until the proper suitor comes along.”

    Leslie Glover
    Unemployed

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