adBlockCheck

Morning-After Pill Doesn’t Work For Heavier Women

Top Headlines

Recent News

Report: Someone Needs To Get Chips And Dip Away From Area Man

EDISON, NJ—Repeatedly emphasizing that the ruffled potato chips and accompanying French onion dip were just too good, a report released Thursday confirmed that someone needs to get them away from local partygoer Ian Ashcraft before he eats the whole thing.

Obama Resigns From Presidency After Michelle Lands Dream Job In Seattle

‘It’s Time I Made Some Sacrifices For This Family,’ Reports President

WASHINGTON—Saying his wife of 24 years had already sacrificed so much for the sake of his career and that it was time to return the favor, Barack Obama announced Wednesday his resignation as president of the United States of America, effective immediately, following news that Michelle Obama had landed her dream job in Seattle.

High School Nurse Getting Pretty Good At Spotting Morning Sickness

FAIRFIELD, ME―Having seen more students than she can remember come into her office with complaints of nausea and vomiting over the years, Fairfield High School nurse Sarah Bromti told reporters Wednesday she’s getting to the point where she can identify morning sickness without much trouble.
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Originality

Morning-After Pill Doesn’t Work For Heavier Women

According to the French pharmaceutical manufacturer HRA Pharma, the active ingredient in morning-after pills is not fully effective in women who weigh over 165 pounds and is ineffective in women who weigh more than 176 pounds. What do you think?

  • “Its a good thing I weigh all my women before intercourse.”

    Matthew Maltz
    Unemployed
  • “But you don’t reach peak sexuality until at least 175 pounds.”

    Bethany Kirkpatrick
    Baggage Handler
  • “How much should the man weigh?”

    Nathaniel Tricco
    Diplomat

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close