adBlockCheck

Morrissey Stable After Onstage Collapse

Top Headlines

Entertainment

Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.

Lost Jack London Manuscript, ‘The Doggy,’ Found

RYE, NY—Workers inventorying the estate of a recently deceased Westchester County art dealer earlier this month reportedly stumbled upon a draft of a previously unknown Jack London novel titled The Doggy, and the work is already being hailed by many within the literary world as a masterpiece.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Morrissey Stable After Onstage Collapse

Former Smiths singer Morrissey is in stable condition after developing breathing problems and falling to the ground during a performance in Swindon, England. What do you think?
  • "I'm tempted to say something sour and deprecating about Morrissey, but I'm sure he's already put it into verse."

    James Mick Utilities Equipment Repairer
  • "Nothing affirms the dreary sameness of life like surviving a near-death experience just to do the same thing again tomorrow."

    Jess Pitkin Maintenance Planner
  • "What a coincidence. At that very moment I was listening to 'There Is A Light That Never Goes Out,' as I do every moment of every day."

    Vernon Marine Convenience Store Supervisor

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close