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‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

Ringo Starr Announces 26th Beatles Album With New Backing Band

‘Moonbeam Sunday’ Slated For Release On June 16

LONDON—Excitedly informing fans that the iconic pop group was back with more original music, Ringo Starr announced Tuesday that on June 16 he would be releasing a 26th Beatles album titled ‘Moonbeam Sunday’ with an all-new backing band.
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Morrissey Stable After Onstage Collapse

Former Smiths singer Morrissey is in stable condition after developing breathing problems and falling to the ground during a performance in Swindon, England. What do you think?
  • "I'm tempted to say something sour and deprecating about Morrissey, but I'm sure he's already put it into verse."

    James Mick Utilities Equipment Repairer
  • "Nothing affirms the dreary sameness of life like surviving a near-death experience just to do the same thing again tomorrow."

    Jess Pitkin Maintenance Planner
  • "What a coincidence. At that very moment I was listening to 'There Is A Light That Never Goes Out,' as I do every moment of every day."

    Vernon Marine Convenience Store Supervisor

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