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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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Morrissey Stable After Onstage Collapse

Former Smiths singer Morrissey is in stable condition after developing breathing problems and falling to the ground during a performance in Swindon, England. What do you think?
  • "I'm tempted to say something sour and deprecating about Morrissey, but I'm sure he's already put it into verse."

    James Mick Utilities Equipment Repairer
  • "Nothing affirms the dreary sameness of life like surviving a near-death experience just to do the same thing again tomorrow."

    Jess Pitkin Maintenance Planner
  • "What a coincidence. At that very moment I was listening to 'There Is A Light That Never Goes Out,' as I do every moment of every day."

    Vernon Marine Convenience Store Supervisor
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