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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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Most Americans Okay With NSA Surveillance

A poll found that 56 percent of Americans believe the NSA’s collection of phone record data is “acceptable,” saying that the government’s need to protect against a terrorist attack outweighed citizens’ right to privacy. What do you think?

  • “Yeah, but what the hell do we know?”

    Kirk Glass Marine Insurance Salesman
  • “You watch—the terrorists will have different poll numbers that say exactly the opposite.”

    Janine Brockett Vocal Coach
  • “If it stops me from becoming a terrorist, I’m all for it.”

    Tom Rivera Athletic Director
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