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‘The Princess Bride’ By The Numbers

‘The Princess Bride’ was released 30 years ago today, and it has since become a classic beloved by people of all ages. ‘The Onion’ looks back at ‘The Princess Bride’ 30 years later.

National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.
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Most Americans Okay With NSA Surveillance

A poll found that 56 percent of Americans believe the NSA’s collection of phone record data is “acceptable,” saying that the government’s need to protect against a terrorist attack outweighed citizens’ right to privacy. What do you think?

  • “Yeah, but what the hell do we know?”

    Kirk Glass Marine Insurance Salesman
  • “You watch—the terrorists will have different poll numbers that say exactly the opposite.”

    Janine Brockett Vocal Coach
  • “If it stops me from becoming a terrorist, I’m all for it.”

    Tom Rivera Athletic Director

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‘The Princess Bride’ By The Numbers

‘The Princess Bride’ was released 30 years ago today, and it has since become a classic beloved by people of all ages. ‘The Onion’ looks back at ‘The Princess Bride’ 30 years later.

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