After Birth

Parents Of Crying Child Must Not Be Any Good

WOODBURY, MN—Noting how the pair’s failure to promptly resolve the situation was a clear indication of their inability to raise or care for another human being, sources confirmed Friday that the parents of a crying infant must not be any good.

Report: Mom Sending You Something

PORTLAND, ME—Stating that she had put it in the mail this morning and that you should keep an eye out for it, your mother notified you Saturday that she was sending you something, reports confirmed.

A Look At The Class Of 2020

This year’s incoming college freshmen will comprise the graduating class of 2020, with the majority of them born in 1998. Here are some facts and figures about these students and their worldview:
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Mother Of 18 Pregnant

Forty-two-year-old Michelle Duggar of the TLC show 18 Kids And Counting is expecting a 19th child in March. What do you think?
  • "This is just a desperate marketing ploy. Shows always add a kid when their ratings slip."

    Dan Perry Prison Guard
  • "I hope they realize that you can only have so many tambourine players in a family act before it just becomes annoying."

    Phil Ryan Highway Engineer
  • "Isn't the 4-H supposed to give her a ribbon at this point? Or does she have to make it to 20 for that?"

    Sara Bloom Lighting Designer

After Birth

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