adBlockCheck

Recent News

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:

Man Either Sick Or Just At End Of Workday

CINCINNATI—Overwhelmed by a wave of fatigue, local man Will Markowski told reporters Tuesday that he was uncertain whether he was getting sick or if it was just the end of a normal workday.

A Timeline Of Abraham Lincoln’s Life

Every February, people across the the nation celebrate the legacy of Abraham Lincoln, widely considered to be one of America’s finest presidents. The Onion provides a timeline of the key moments in President Lincoln’s life:

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.
End Of Section
  • More News

Mountain Dew Introduces 'Kickstart' Breakfast Drink

On February 25, PepsiCo will roll out its new line of caffeinated Mountain Dew Kickstart sparkling juice beverages, which will be marketed as an alternative to coffee or tea. What do you think?

  • “Great! I do most of my skysurfing in the morning.”

    Richard Poitier Bench Assembler
  • “You know, there are many mornings when I’m having my coffee and I wonder if there isn’t some Dew I should be doing.”

    Celia Vassallo Horticulturalist
  • “Nice. I’ve been looking for just the right beverage to wash down the Jimmy Dean Pancakes and Sausage on a Stick I like to eat on the bus.”

    Chris Gutierrez Tape Duplicator
More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close