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Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.

Nation’s Sanitation Workers Announce Everything Finally Clean

‘Please Try To Keep It This Way,’ Say Workers

WASHINGTON—After spending years sweeping and scrubbing across all 50 states, the nation’s sanitation workers announced Thursday that everything was finally clean and asked Americans if they could please keep it that way.
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‘Mrs. Doubtfire’ Sequel In The Works

The Hollywood Reporter announced that after a decade of delays and script rewrites, film studio Fox 2000 is making a sequel to Mrs. Doubtfire, the 1993 hit movie starring Robin Williams about a dad who cross-dresses as an elderly Scottish nanny. What do you think?

  • “It’s so hard getting any movie made, much less one that no one wants to see.”

    Dan Cappelli Field Marshall
  • “I could never accept the premise that someone would divorce Robin Williams.”

    Carol Lerner Ergonomic Chair Designer
  • “But I still haven’t stopped laughing from the first one!”

    Matthew Heuer Unemployed

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