MTV's Occupy Wall Street

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Vol 47 Issue 43

Bill Simmons Somehow Still Writing About 2010 NBA Season

LOS ANGELES—With the NBA lockout having already resulted in the cancellation of many games this fall, ESPN.com and Grantland columnist Bill Simmons is somehow managing to churn out upwards of 3,000 words per week on the NBA by continuing to write ab...

FAA To Ban Plane Crashes

WASHINGTON—In what officials are calling "a much-needed policy shift," the Federal Aviation Administration announced this weekend that it would ban all plane crashes.

Man's Utter Failure In Life A Bit Of A Sore Spot

MADISONVILLE, TN—Sources close to local man Mike Ferguson confirmed Saturday that over time they have learned not to bring up their friend's utter failure to achieve anything whatsoever in life, a sensitive topic they said has always been a bit of a...

Lions Fans Excited To Be Booing Again

DETROIT—After their team dropped its second-straight game Sunday, Detroit Lions fans told reporters they were thrilled to get back to booing the hapless franchise.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Healthy Living

  • The Onion’s Guide To Gym Etiquette

    Every new year brings a surge in gym membership from new members nicknamed “resolutionists,” many of whom may be unaware that there are unspoken rules everyone must observe when working out.

Fantasy Sports

FIFA Frantically Announces 2015 Summer World Cup In United States

ZURICH—After the Justice Department indicted numerous executives from world soccer’s governing body on charges of corruption and bribery, frantic and visibly nervous officials from FIFA held an impromptu press conference Wednesday to announce that the United States has been selected to host this summer’s 2015 World Cup.

MTV's Occupy Wall Street

MTV has put out a casting call for a member of the Occupy Wall Street protests to join its cast of The Real World. What do you think?

  • "I bet feathers will fly when he or she is forced to room with a surprise guest: the ex-CEO of Bear Stearns!"

    Samantha LaFollette
    Nutritionist
  • "I guess MTV's Smart House starring Paul Krugman and Glenn Greenwald fell through."

    Kevin Davidson
    Systems Analyst
  • "I'm 32 but people are always telling me how disenfranchised I look! Now's my time!"

    Andy McGovern
    Unemployed
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