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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Museums Raided Tombs?

Thousands of artifacts that have been taken from tombs around the world often make their way to prestigious museums. What do you think?
  • "Well, it would certainly explain the recent upsurge in mummy-curse-related murders at the Met."

    Megan Crawford Systems Analyst
  • "That must be why Getty director Dr. Michael Brand was digging up my mom's corpse last week. It doesn’t explain why he was fucking it, though."

    Michael Dougan Pharmacist
  • "Look, I'm a realist. I just don't believe in all this superstitious nonsense about 'archaeology' and 'museums.'"

    Tyler Soria Loan Officer
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