Museums Raided Tombs?

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Area Dad Thinks Refs Should Just Let Them Play Football

DOYLESTOWN, PA—Facetiously questioning how the game had suddenly become a non-contact sport, local father Aaron Harper confirmed his belief Thursday that referees officiating a Thanksgiving game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Detroit Lions should just let them play football out there.
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  • Father Apologizes For Taking Out Anger On Wrong Son

    ELIZABETH, NJ—Moments after losing his composure with an unwarranted emotional outburst, local father David Kessler reportedly apologized to his son Christopher Thursday for erroneously taking out his anger on him and not his older brother Peter.

Museums Raided Tombs?

Thousands of artifacts that have been taken from tombs around the world often make their way to prestigious museums. What do you think?
  • "Well, it would certainly explain the recent upsurge in mummy-curse-related murders at the Met."

    Megan Crawford
    Systems Analyst
  • "That must be why Getty director Dr. Michael Brand was digging up my mom's corpse last week. It doesn’t explain why he was fucking it, though."

    Michael Dougan
  • "Look, I'm a realist. I just don't believe in all this superstitious nonsense about 'archaeology' and 'museums.'"

    Tyler Soria
    Loan Officer