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Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.

Departing Bo Obama Lands K Street Lobbyist Position

WASHINGTON—Touting his lengthy tenure in the White House and close personal relationships with the president of the United States and first lady, executives at Brownstein Hyatt Farber Schreck announced Monday that once the current administration steps down later this week, the departing Bo Obama will officially join their high-powered K Street lobbying firm.
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Myanmar Ends Media Censorship

Transitioning to a more democratic system after nearly half a century of repressive military rule, Myanmar's government announced Monday that its Press Scrutiny and Registration Department would no longer censor the nation's private publications. What do you think?

  • “Yeah, but where’s the fun in it if you’re not pissing off a junta?”

    Vern Wansley Paperboard Box Maker
  • “The censorship is why I stopped beginning my day with the Yangon Times.”

    Wallace Frankfather Scientific Photographer
  • “I hope they’re prepared for all the shitty blogs people are going to start now.”

    Juleen Petite Accounting Clerk

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