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Woman Conducting Ongoing Scientific Experiment On Own Skin

DULUTH, MN—Noting her methodic applications of various chemical agents in carefully controlled combinations, sources confirmed Wednesday that local woman Sara Holloway has been carrying out an open-ended scientific experiment on her own skin.

Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
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Myanmar Ends Media Censorship

Transitioning to a more democratic system after nearly half a century of repressive military rule, Myanmar's government announced Monday that its Press Scrutiny and Registration Department would no longer censor the nation's private publications. What do you think?

  • “Yeah, but where’s the fun in it if you’re not pissing off a junta?”

    Vern Wansley Paperboard Box Maker
  • “The censorship is why I stopped beginning my day with the Yangon Times.”

    Wallace Frankfather Scientific Photographer
  • “I hope they’re prepared for all the shitty blogs people are going to start now.”

    Juleen Petite Accounting Clerk
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