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Fermilab Receives Generous Anonymous Particle Donation

BATAVIA, IL—Calling it the most substantial private donation the research facility has received in years, officials at the Fermi National Accelerator Laboratory announced Monday that an anonymous benefactor had given them a generous particle donation.

God Excited About First Trip To Japan

THE HEAVENS—After years of talking about visiting the East Asian country, God, Our Lord and Heavenly Father, told reporters Monday that He was excited to finally be taking His first trip to Japan.
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Mysterious Portrait Discovered Beneath Picasso Painting

Using advanced infrared technology, art experts scanned the famous Picasso painting The Blue Room and discovered a hidden portrait underneath featuring a mysterious bow-tied man. What do you think?

  • “Two paintings in one? What a deal!”

    Kyle Greely Post-Development Specialist
  • “If Picasso didn’t care about him, I don’t care about him.”

    Amanda Baum Desk Assembler
  • “Man, I hope no one goes looking under shit I painted over.”

    Joe Sperling Account Manager

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