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Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.

Departing Bo Obama Lands K Street Lobbyist Position

WASHINGTON—Touting his lengthy tenure in the White House and close personal relationships with the president of the United States and first lady, executives at Brownstein Hyatt Farber Schreck announced Monday that once the current administration steps down later this week, the departing Bo Obama will officially join their high-powered K Street lobbying firm.
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NAACP, KKK Hold First-Ever Meeting

The NAACP chapter president in Casper, WY met with a local Ku Klux Klan organizer in the first-ever meeting between the two groups, with the Klansman paying a $30 fee to join the NAACP so he could receive the organization’s newsletter and learn more about its views. What do you think?

  • “Did they say anything about me?”

    Lloyd McDaniels Arboretum Groundskeeper
  • “I thought they did that years ago on an In Living Color sketch.”

    Regine Blass Costume Designer
  • “The road to understanding usually begins with a newsletter.”

    Oswald Thomas Systems Analyst

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