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Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.

Nation’s Sanitation Workers Announce Everything Finally Clean

‘Please Try To Keep It This Way,’ Say Workers

WASHINGTON—After spending years sweeping and scrubbing across all 50 states, the nation’s sanitation workers announced Thursday that everything was finally clean and asked Americans if they could please keep it that way.
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NAACP, KKK Hold First-Ever Meeting

The NAACP chapter president in Casper, WY met with a local Ku Klux Klan organizer in the first-ever meeting between the two groups, with the Klansman paying a $30 fee to join the NAACP so he could receive the organization’s newsletter and learn more about its views. What do you think?

  • “Did they say anything about me?”

    Lloyd McDaniels Arboretum Groundskeeper
  • “I thought they did that years ago on an In Living Color sketch.”

    Regine Blass Costume Designer
  • “The road to understanding usually begins with a newsletter.”

    Oswald Thomas Systems Analyst

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