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NAACP Versus The Network

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Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.

Lost Jack London Manuscript, ‘The Doggy,’ Found

RYE, NY—Workers inventorying the estate of a recently deceased Westchester County art dealer earlier this month reportedly stumbled upon a draft of a previously unknown Jack London novel titled The Doggy, and the work is already being hailed by many within the literary world as a masterpiece.
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NAACP Versus The Network

Outraged over the lack of minority representation in the new fall prime-time lineups, NAACP president Kweisi Mfume recently accused the major television networks of perpetuating "a virtual whitewash in programming." What do you think?
  • "Black people are just as entitled to their own underwritten, one-dimensional characters as the rest of us."

    Steve Flores Bricklayer
  • "I've worked with poverty-stricken youths in inner-city homeless shelters, and if there's one thing these kids need, it's to see more blacks on TV."

    Tami Johnson Social Worker
  • "With the possible exception of MLK's assassination, there has been no greater setback in the struggle for racial equality than the 1996 cancellation of Homeboys In Outer Space."

    Dale Gibson Systems Analyst
  • "You've got to realize, there are two sides to every story. As a network exec, sure, I was criticized by the NAACP, but the NAAWP named me their Man Of The Year."

    Roy Bainbridge Network Executive
  • "I'm behind the NAACP 100 percent. Why? Because I really care about advancing colored people. Let's hear it for the coloreds!"

    Carol Schinker Bank Teller
  • "Dammit. The second you said 'Blacks on TV,' I got the theme from Martin stuck in my head. 'Mah-iiiin... Mah-iiiin.' Christ, that's annoying."

    Doug Slattery House Painter

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